Queen Propeller
by oRpheusB20
Summary: In which Propeller Knight becomes the queen of Pridemoor, Shovel Knight becomes great at guessing things, the Enchantress has a journal, Plague Knight is left feeling utterly dumbfounded, and the Flying Machine's crew is a major nuisance to the second in command. And that's just the start. Blame lkcsi for this.
1. Propeller In A Dress

**Hello, and welcome to this mess! This was a request from lkcsi since I've successfully written the final chapter of Short, and thus have nothing better to do with my life. As the name would imply, Propeller Knight becomes a queen. Rather unwillingly, at that.**

* * *

"I hate you so much right now," Propeller Knight growled as he stared down at the elegant gown he currently wore. Sure, it was his favorite shade of green, but that didn't change the fact that he was standing there wearing something meant for women.

"Oh come now, it's not _that_ bad," King Knight replied in a vain attempt to get the Frenchman to stop complaining.

"Says the guy wearing the not at all girly golden armor," Propeller Knight muttered while crossing his arms, feeling horribly awkward standing there in a woman's outfit, complete with fake breasts. "Honestly, I get that you have a bad tendency to think I'm a girl when I'm not in my usual uniform, but one look at my face immediately gives it away. Why me, by the way? Can't you just get some poor girl off the streets, dress her up fancy, and then teach her how to act like she knows what she's doing? I bet you could give some great tips, seeing as you've been faking your status this whole time."

"Hush now, before I bring harm upon you," King Knight threatened. "I chose you because I know that you can't betray me without angering the Enchantress, something that is not guaranteed with some random woman, even if I were to handpick her myself. Come along now, we need to see your makeup artist."

"I have a makeup artist?" Propeller Knight asked, staring at King Knight with a degree of contained annoyance as the usurper turned and started to walk.

"Yes, well, you were literally just commenting on how anyone with some thinking ability will look at you and realize that you are in fact male, therefore I think it would be best if you had something to hide that. Makeup is a lot less suspicious than a mask covering half your face, so I figured that it would be the better option."

Propeller Knight sighed and gave up on fighting; instead, he followed the usurper while focusing on why exactly he was in Pridemoor Keep. Sadly, all he could remember was just suddenly standing there while someone fitted him for a dress while being jokingly called 'Queen Propeller' by the man that was now acting as his soon to be husband. He had an airship to run, dammit, he shouldn't be playing dress-up like a child!

A thought suddenly came to him regarding his ship, and he spoke up. "What will we do if someone catches wind that I'm not the queen, nor even a girl, but in fact a part of the Order? You have not allowed any of my crew to be here, and I can't say I trust the competence of your guards too much."

"I know what you're doing," King Knight said, not answering the question in the slightest.

Propeller Knight frowned. "And just what is it you think I'm doing? I'm merely expressing concern because I'm not entirely sure why it is I'm even here."

King Knight glanced back at him, glaring somewhat. "You're trying to get me to allow your crew here. If anyone finds out, then you can call all of your guys. Until then, or until I no longer have need of your presence, they wait outside."

"And when will you no longer have need of me? I'm acting as your queen, I can't just leave," Propeller Knight pointed out with a snarl. "And while I trust my crew to hold down the fort for a while, I would like to eventually go and check up on them."

King Knight shrugged, uncaring of his ally's issues. "Then just order for weekly reports. You have the authority to do that, I hope you realize."

Propeller Knight shook his head in dismissal of the idea. "I look over everything myself to ensure the reports are accurate."

"You can deal," King Knight replied with a bored tone.

Snickering, Propeller Knight joked, "You know, I'm pretty sure we shouldn't be bickering until after the marriage is final."

"I thought it was after the honeymoon," King Knight questioned, deciding it best to just roll with it.

"Well, technically either of them, but I think it would be best to at least wait at least until the wedding." Propeller Knight paused and then hung his head. "Oh no, I'm going to get married!" He sped up his pace until he was in front of King Knight, at which point he spun around and stopped, jabbing a finger at the other man's face. "If you ask for me to do anything even vaguely-"

King Knight cut him off with a raised finger requesting silence. Begrudgingly, the Frenchman did so.

King Knight was honestly surprised at how quickly the man shut up, but didn't miss a beat and said, "I get it; you'll find a way to beat me into a bloody pulp with your bare fists if I ask you to do this or that." Suddenly, he went from understanding to controlling. "News flash, though, I'm the one in control here, if I tell you to get down on your hands and knees and squeal like a pig, you'd better do it!"

"Or what?" Propeller Knight snarled.

"You'll just have to find that one out for yourself now won't you? It could be anything from handing you over to Specter Knight and letting him do whatever it is he so desires, or a stay in the dungeon, or whatever else I can think of. I believe Plague Knight, even if he is a traitor, wouldn't mind having a new test subject."

Propeller Knight raised an eyebrow at the first idea. "I think Specter Knight hates you far more than he hates me."

King Knight did not appear overly concerned by this as he asked, "Yeah, so?"

"So, it would a cinch to get him to hurt you instead."

"Oh, it wouldn't be that hard to bribe him so he wouldn't harm me."

"Yes, but I could bribe him with twice as much of whatever you'd give him!"

"So you have a dungeon full of human sacrifices?"

"What, no, that's evil!"

"You say that, and yet you are a part of the Order of No Quarter, of which is consistently called the most wicked organization in the past hundred years or so."

"I never said I wanted to be a part of your little group."

"Fair, but you are still a part of us; therefore you need to stop whining."

Propeller Knight huffed, which King Knight took as a sign that the conversation was over, and so he continued his walk.

As Propeller Knight followed, he asked, "Were we seriously just talking about bribing Specter Knight?"

King Knight nodded. "I believe we were."

"He would no doubt maul us if he heard that."

"Yeah, most likely."

"Oh, aren't you starting to actually look like a girl!" King Knight smiled as he watched a man put on Propeller Knight's makeup.

Said Frenchman had his arms crossed and a scowl on his face despite every attempt made to get him to loosen up. "I will repeat myself until I get the point across: I hate you so much right now."

"Okay, you seriously need to stop your whining."

Propeller Knight sighed and glared at King Knight. "So, as long as I'm stuck in this chair, mind reminding me why I'm here? I honestly can't seem to remember."

"You're kidding me, right?" King Knight did not get a response. "Why did you even come here then?"

"I'm still figuring that out for myself. Wait…" Propeller Knight suddenly remembered something important and he nearly jumped out of his seat in an attempt to strangle the false king. "You kidnapped me!"

King Knight raised an eyebrow, mildly surprised. "That took you long enough."

"Yeah, only because you gave me a concussion when you bashed me on the back of the skull! And why even ask me why I came here then?"

King Knight proceeded to completely ignore the question. "That wasn't me."

"Sure it wasn't."

"No, I just sent some troops to… retrieve you. Apparently that means knocking you unconscious."

"You didn't tell them specifically to kidnap me?"

"Nope."

"And they did it anyway."

"Yep."

"And you didn't complain?"

"Actually, I sent them to the dungeon."

"Oh, how… oddly kind of you."

"I actually just got reason to suspect that they were part of the rebel force halfway into their mission."

"And you didn't just decide to keep tabs on them? And the only ones you suspected were the ones sent to get me?"

"Nah, there were five others."

"Oh. How lovely."

"U-um, sir, can you please stop talking?" The man attempting to make Propeller Knight's face appear more feminine requested. "You're making it really hard to put on your makeup."

Propeller Knight promptly closed his mouth, somewhat glad that he no longer had to converse with King Knight. He wondered why he ever allowed himself to talk to the other man; it only ended with him annoyed and/or very, very confused.

"Ah, you sure make a lovely woman," King Knight said.

Propeller Knight began to wonder if this was all just an elaborate scheme to irk him.

"I'm glad I chose you for the job."

Yes. It must be.

"You make a much better girl than any female that I've ever seen."

No doubt about it.

"Of course, we do have to take into account that you're running up against people like Plague Knight's assistant."

He was going to pay.

"I don't know why, but she gives me the creeps."

Dearly.

"I think it's the bored gaze of hers."

"Would you shut up?!" Propeller Knight yelled, jumping out of his seat. Rather unfortunately, he chose the exact wrong moment to perform these actions, as the man putting on his makeup had been halfway through applying lipstick. Somehow it swiped across his tongue, and while it didn't necessarily taste like anything in particular, it was still not pleasant. In addition to this, it then drew a red trail on his chin.

Propeller Knight's eyes twitched in anger. King Knight's eyes, on the other hand, widened in fear. Wisely, he turned and bolted from the room, shouting at any nearby guards to restrain the enraged Frenchman before he could maul anyone, specifically him.

"Get back here!" Propeller Knight shouted, completely and utterly fed up with what's happened to him.

He attempted to run, but quickly realized why it is that you don't see a whole lot of women sprinting about in dresses. He immediately almost faceplanted when he stepped on the fabric. Luckily, he managed to regain his balance just in time to get bowled over by a rather burly guard wearing some very heavy armor.

"Ow," he whimpered.

* * *

(Down somewhere pretty much completely unrelated)

Shovel Knight frowned.

"You know…" he whispered to himself. "I _was_ going to challenge King Knight today, but… I get the impression, for some odd reason I don't understand, that someone else is going to beat him up for me."

The blue clad warrior shrugged.

"Ah, well, off to re-kill Specter Knight then, I suppose."

* * *

(And now for something far more related)

"Has anyone seen the captain lately?"

This was a question that Albrecht had heard far too many times within the past hour or so. It was really starting to grate on his nerves.

By this point the German was getting extremely worried. Sure, his friend was a tad off, but that didn't mean that if he was going to disappear for a solid hour he wouldn't tell at least one person. But that's what had happened. The Flying Machine's captain had simply up and left and never returned.

Albrecht had already sent everyone he ran into who wasn't doing something particularly pressing to go search the area. Thus far, everyone had come back with bad news. He wasn't in his quarters, the cafeteria, the engine room, and obviously not the main deck.

"Hey, has anyone seen the captain lately?"

Albrecht twitched dangerous, and the poor Hoverhaft who just asked an innocent question took a step back. "No," he answered simply. He pointed in a random direction, towards some plains. "Go search over there."

The commanded crew member nodded and followed directions without complaint, much to Albrecht's relief.

Deciding that he was through with this nonsense, he called for a meeting. Within a couple minutes, he had the whole crew gathered in front of him. Most them, while waiting for everyone else to assemble, talked amongst themselves, mostly about the fact that no one had seen Propeller Knight in a good long time.

When he was sure that the whole crew stood in front of him, he motioned for silence, of which was quickly granted.

Clearing his throat, he spoke loudly to the mass. "I'm sure you've realized by now, the majority of you, that our captain has disappeared seemingly into thin air. I have no clue where he is either."

This did not help matters, it seemed. Not that Albrecht was particularly surprised.

"Thusly, I want all of you to go out and search for him. I want you to look on, under, and around every single object present in the valley. I'm serious."

A hand was rather meekly raised, and Albrecht pointed to it. It lowered itself and the owner spoke. "Uh, not to say I'm not determined to find the captain, but 'every single object' would imply every speck of dirt. And if one were to look under that speck, they would find another, which they would then have to look under as well. Can you see where I'm going with this?"

Albrecht stared at the person who said this, utterly dumbfounded. "Are you being a smartass with me?"

"No, I'm just pointing out a flaw in your plan."

Albrecht frowned. "Okay, how about this, anything half his body size or larger. That better?"

"Much," was the reply.

Nodding, he said, "Good, now get out there. If you need me, I'll be in the Lich Yard."

Everyone stared at him like he lost his mind.

"Oh, like you're going to do it!" He snapped. "Now go on if there are no more questions!"

"Question!" Someone yelled, resulting in a groan from the German.

"Yes?" He asked.

"Where will you be if you don't find him there?"

"By then, the sun will have gone down, so I'll be back here, either sleeping or staring at a map."

"And if Specter Knight doesn't allow you entrance?"

"Then I'll force my way in!"

Albrecht was met with silence, so he decided he would try to once again send out the troops. That is, until: "Question!"

"What?!"

"Who's going to search the Enchantress' tower? I mean, he might be there."

"I'm tempted to say you. However, because I know Propeller Knight would undoubtedly be very cross with me for that, I'll do it tomorrow. Now go, I don't want any more questions! The more time we spend sitting about here, the more time is wasted that we could be using to search. Move it!"

Luckily, there were no more questions to be had, and the entire crew flew out in a large wave that managed to blot out the sun momentarily for some very unfortunate people who happened to live below.

* * *

(And now once again somewhere incredibly unrelated)

Enchantress' log: Entry 713178247192375483294isdhaknclkaenrgnaerf fuck it, why am I even trying to keep track anymore?

Today I learned something I should have figured out a good long time ago. My knights are idiots! I seriously didn't even know I had to breathe until I have to stop and catch my breath because I was laughing so hard at the utter stupidity that I happened to tune into at the exact correct moment.

I fail to see the reasoning behind King attempting to drag a queen into his failed rule, especially Propeller of all people. In the beginning, it makes sense. But when you get down to it, it really doesn't do anything, since it's not like anyone likes him anyway. Having a wife around will do absolutely nothing for him. Especially when that 'wife' is actually a guy who is very clearly ticked off at him.

I should intervene. I know I should. I simply cannot allow this hideous lack of thought to bring about my downfall. Propeller is not taking care of his ship, and it seems that his crew is going to leave it unattended until they find him, and that means one less knight and his minions to deal with for any opposing forces like my host's partner. Not to mention that he is nothing short of defenseless in that ridiculous clothing. I don't think he's been allowed even a simple dagger, and even if he was, there's no place to keep it. He's pretty much a free kill, and I want as many barricades as possible, even though I could wipe out whoever I want, whenever I want. Far easier on my end.

I'll admit, though, I am morbidly curious to see how this plays out, similar to my feelings on Plague's attempt at power. If nothing else, I desire to see the German subordinate get his ass kicked in by Specter.

Now that my thoughts are on my traitorous alchemist, he's going to be fighting King for his essence soon. I wonder how that will go down. I'd best tune into that and hope I don't miss the ensuring fiasco.

* * *

(Back to the first setting now)

Plague Knight stared, mouth agape in utter confusion. Before him was his target, King Knight, who was on the ground and somehow struggling to push off the dainty man on top of him. Oh, and that elegant man happened to be Propeller Knight, who was wearing a dress and had lipstick on his chin, as well as fake eyelashes, and eye shadow, and just about every other makeup technique fancy nobles liked to employ.

A second later, a guard appeared and threw himself at Propeller Knight, sending him crashing to the floor. Strangely, in response to this, the Frenchman yelled "Again?!"

Unable to fully comprehend what exactly was going on here, Plague Knight found himself giggling. "Oh boy," he laughed, "Mona is _not_ going to believe this one!"

Seeing as he was being completely ignored, the alchemist snuck forward, stealing King Knight's essence first. Not a single person noticed. Next, he slipped towards the pissed Frenchman. This time, he was noticed and barely avoided being thrown to the ground by a guard.

"Whoa! That took you long enough!" He shouted. "I've been raiding this place for the past five minutes! You had quite the impressive treasury, Kingy." He laughed when there another attempted assault, of which was very easily dodged.

He jumped over to Propeller Knight, snatching away his essence, while King Knight realized something important. "Wait a second, that was past tense."

"I'll just be taking this," he told Propeller Knight before he looked to King Knight with an unseen shit eating grin on his face. "Ha, Good job, tomorrow we teach you cart."

King Knight's face contorted in confusion briefly before he snapped out of his stupor when Plague Knight turned and ran. "Stop! Dammit, security, what the fuck were you doing to let him in here! After him!"

The guards took off immediately, not wanting to annoy him with the knowledge that it was him who called them away from their posts because he was afraid of his angry soon to be somehow male wife.

Naturally, Plague Knight was not caught.

No one was happy that day besides the alchemist, his partner, and the Enchantress.

* * *

 **I'm sorry it jumped perspectives a lot. lkcsi wanted me to show two sides of the issue, one from Propeller Knight's, and one from his German friend from her fic. From there, I ended up adding in Shovel Knight as a minor joke to make it flow a little better into how the airship's crew was dealing with the situation, and then for fun I threw in the Enchantress. lkcsi joked about it being a journal, with that exact number and letters, and I thought that was fucking hilarious, so there you go.  
For those who think it's weird for her to not add 'Knight' to their names, let's face it, you would get annoyed writing 'Knight' all the time as well. There's a damn good reason I'm happy Mona calls Plague Knight 'Plaguey' (well, besides the fact that it's adorable).**

 **As a side note, because Plague Knight plays such a minor role, I figured I'd try to write his dialogue a little closer to his canon's. I think it turned out rather okay.**


	2. Albrecht's Search

**Damn I had fun making this. Like, you have no idea. I literally had to start color-coding the character's perspectives so I could more easily identify a section.**

 **...Okay, actually, I just started by making the minor sections blue and the major sections a red, but then for some reason I thought it would be fun to give Propeller Knight's sections its own color (bright green), and then I gave Plaguey his own color (dark green), and then Specter Knight got to keep the red since all the major sections had been about him and were in red, and then I gave Albrecht's small little section at the end the blue, mostly because I liked the color, and it fits his color scheme.**

* * *

"Wow, you're back early," Mona commented upon her partner's return.

Plague Knight gleefully held up the two essences and laughed when Mona's mask shattered and she sputtered for a moment in utter disbelief.

"T-two?" She questioned.

"Haha, yep!" Plague Knight said. "I wish you could have seen it. Propeller Knight was there. In a dress. With makeup. Hehe. It was great!"

Mona attempted to respond, but couldn't come up with anything even remotely intelligent to say.

"I also raided his treasury," Plague Knight informed her, tossing her his bag and again having a good laugh when she started to pull out the coins to count them, only to give up halfway through.

"I… I don't… There isn't… words… fuck." She groaned in frustration.

Plague Knight chuckled and told her gently, "Deep breath, Mona, deep breath."

She did as instructed and said, "Well, this is off to a good start. Far better than what I could have ever imagined."

Plague Knight nodded happily. "Yeah! I was thinking that I should try to attack Specter Knight since that didn't take nearly as much time as I thought. Hehe, he'll be so surprised he won't have time to retaliate!"

"Three in one day? And they say this is the hard part."

Plague Knight grinned. "Haha, yeah, right? Maybe the universe just likes me today."

"Let's just hope it stays that way." She held out her hand. "I'll deal with the essences. You just worry about taking down that ghost."

Plague Knight carefully handed over the oh-so-important ingredients to his partner before rushing off to gather as much information on the Lich Yard as he could.

* * *

Specter Knight was honestly surprised at people's stupidity sometimes. Take the idiot rambling in another language currently ransacking his territory, for example. No one in their right mind would seriously go around the area searching for… something without a degree of stealth involved seeing as the Yard was home to arguably one of the most powerful members of the Order of No Quarter.

And yet, there was some asshole foreigner going around, picking up hefty rocks, ensuring that was he was looking for was not under or near it, and then throwing it at any nearby forces that attempted to oppose him, including but not limited to benevolent ghosts that happened to be minding their own business, animated skeletons that the ruling undead man had actually set there as security and the occasional blade of dying grass that dared to attempt photosynthesis in his presence.

Even from a distance, Specter Knight recognized the design of the armor as one of Propeller Knight's Hoverhaft crew, and the inverse color scheme signaled to him that it was the one that would get up in his face the most. His only question was what the fuck did the German think he was doing?

Specter Knight was just about to go down there when his personal servant stopped him. "I can deal with him for you, sir," she informed him.

"No," Specter Knight told her, waving her aside. "I want to speak with him myself."

Mitzi cocked her head to the side in confusion but didn't say another word, instead following behind her master as he floated over to the invader.

"What do you think you are doing?" He asked, trying his damnedest to look as cool as possible by floating out of the shadows of a nearby tree.

Albrecht, however, was completely unfazed. "Looking for Propeller Knight," he answered simply as though the apparition had been there the whole time.

Frowning, Specter Knight asked, "What makes you think he'd be here?"

"He's ended up in some odd places," Albrecht answered, tossing another rock, this time in Specter Knight's direction.

Almost lazily, the stone was cut in half by the ghost's large scythe as he replied, "I can't argue with you there."

"Exactly," Albrecht muttered. "So leave me be so I can look in peace."

"I don't see why I should," Specter Knight snarled while folding his arms in annoyance.

"Because if I fail to find him, that means he's not there to act as one of the Enchantress' protectors. When someone strong enough to oppose you people appears, that means that the Enchantress will die sooner, and then you will most likely return to being dead."

Specter Knight frowned as he realized the German had a point. He didn't have a clue if he would continue to exist after the Enchantress' demise, but the odds were most likely not in his favor.

"Fine," he spat. "But be quick about it."

"I cannot be quick," Albrecht informed him. "I have to be very thorough. If I am not, I may miss the one place he could be hiding."

Specter Knight felt an almost overwhelming urge to bang his head on a nearby tree, hurt the German, or both, but he ultimately refrained from doing any of that.

"How long will you be here?" He questioned with a sigh.

"At least until the end of the day, maybe some of tomorrow."

"Has it occurred to you to call out for him? You didn't make a noise until I came."

"I assume he's asleep, which is why he has been gone for the past hour and a half."

"Wait wait wait!" Specter Knight yelled, successfully making Propeller Knight's bodyguard pause midway through the action of hurling another small boulder, comically causing him to fall to the ground. "He's only been gone an hour and a half?!"

"For him, that is highly concerning," Albrecht informed him as he picked himself up from the ground.

"How do you know he didn't just fall asleep in a meadow or some shit?"

"I didn't imply I was the only one searching for him, did I?"

"How many people do you have searching for him?"

"The whole crew. Don't ask where, though, I have no idea. There are too many to decide where each will go without taking the whole day."

"Do you have anyone staying behind on the ship?"

"Nope."

Specter Knight lowered his head with a sigh. "You are an idiot."

"Excuse you!?" Albrecht yelled, offended. Seeing as he had a large stone in his hands at the moment, he tossed in at the apparition's face.

"Specter Knight!" Yelled a random, heroic voice.

The two feuding men stopped their bickering and turned to the newcomer. Unfortunately for Specter Knight, this caused him to forget the rock being hurled at his head, and subsequently he was knocked to the ground. Pulling himself off the dirt, he grabbed Mitzi before she could assault Albrecht, and instead made her focus on who distracted him to begin with.

Standing there, weapon at the ready, was Shovel Knight.

"You," the ghost growled.

"Yes, me," Shovel Knight laughed.

"Why are you here? It is not your time, and King Knight was closer. I don't understand why you have come here already."

Shovel Knight shrugged. "It was the weirdest thing. I got the feeling that someone was going to beat him up for me if I didn't interrupt whatever was going on there."

"Like who?" Albrecht questioned.

Again, Shovel Knight shrugged, this time far more helplessly. "I'm honestly not entirely sure."

"Yeah, that answers everything," Specter Knight commented sarcastically.

"Shut up, my gut rarely lies!" Shovel Knight yelled.

"And yet it had nothing to say on the Amulet of Fate," Albrecht mocked.

"I-!" Shovel Knight paused and deflated somewhat. "Okay, I'll admit it; I was a little drunk at the time."

"What?" Albrecht asked, his jaw dropping in disbelief.

"I found some odd liquid and didn't think it could harm me _that_ much." He groaned. "Oh fuck was I wrong."

"Why would you just drink some random liquid in an ancient tower?" Specter Knight questioned, lowering his face into his hands.

Shovel Knight laughed miserably. "I was thirsty and Shield Knight had the water. We had split up at the time, too."

"And you never thought to bring two canteens?" Albrecht asked.

"We did. The other one got crushed by a cave-in a couple days prior," Shovel Knight answered.

Specter Knight frowned. "Those are some impressive coincidences."

"I think he's lying," Albrecht accused.

"I'm not!" Shovel Knight yelled.

"Right…" Specter Knight laughed.

"I don't even believe you," Mitzi chimed in. "And I'm not exactly the most skeptical of this whole group."

"Okay, now that just hurts," Shovel Knight informed her, slumping slightly before rising and readying his trusty weapon.

"Did we just provoke him?" Albrecht asked.

"I think we may have," Specter Knight answered, quickly summoning his weapon of mass destruction. "How about we put our fight on hold for now? I don't think he's going to let either of us leave without a bruise or two now that we've offended him."

"Well, it's not like I can leave so long as Propeller Knight is still missing," Albrecht said, grabbing his halberd and preparing himself for a fight.

* * *

(Back to the _main topic_ of this story for a couple of moments…)

"My money!" King Knight cried upon barging into the room that used to contain his riches.

"Who are you, Treasure Knight?" Propeller Knight questioned sourly. "Honestly, you should have seen this coming. You knew he turned traitor. You knew he had not been dealt with. We knew he needs funds. And we both knew he was going to come for us eventually."

"You didn't expect it either!"

"Yeah, because I was busy getting shoved in a dress and having my ass kicked in by your guards."

"You assaulted me!"

"And you insulted me!"

"How did I insult you?!"

"You called me a woman!"

"Yeah, because you make a damn good one!"

"And you then proceeded to insult Mona!"

"Why do you care about that?!"

"Because she is a lovely woman!"

"That's your opinion."

"Yeah, but my opinion overrules yours when it comes to women."

"No it doesn't."

"Please, if you knew the first thing about women, you wouldn't need me to play one."

"That's not true!"

"Right, sure I totally believe that!"

This bickering continued for another half an hour until Propeller Knight's throat started to burn from all the shouting.

"This is starting to hurt," he complained in a low whisper.

"Agreed," King Knight muttered.

"Can we just… call this off for a couple minutes? Or hours? Or days, maybe even years?"

"I say that is a brilliant idea. Come, let's go find some honey."

"I'm actually not all that fond of honey."

"Really? That's odd. Fine, we'll figure out if we have any tea then."

Propeller Knight nodded, for the first time that day feeling something akin to contentment.

* * *

(And back now to that epic fighting, of which you have now missed most of)

Albrecht blocked a strike and swiftly received a kick to the stomach for his troubles, surprising considering Shovel Knight's rather short legs. Specter Knight swooped in to cover him while he was recovering, all the while holding a rather casual conversation with Mitzi.

"I'm going to go to Pridemoor Keep after I deal with this."

"Very well."

"I have no idea when, but if Plague Knight appears while I am out, I have a very specific message for you to tell him."

Mitzi nodded and listened carefully to what he told her, muttering it to herself a couple times to help herself remember it. "Got it sir!"

"Good," Specter Knight said, attempting an overhead swing that was dodged.

Seeing a chance, Albrecht rushed forward, aiming to impale his foe on the pointed upper part of his blade. Shovel Knight barely reacted in time, but managed to bring up his weapon and let it ram into his shovel rather than his chest. He frowned at the dent that existed now on his beloved blade, forgetting it a moment later as he was forced to jump over a scythe attack aiming to cut off his feet.

Growling, he sidestepped the Hoverhaft that had attempted to stab at him again and managed to deliver a powerful bash to the back of his foe's head. Albrecht stumbled but managed to stay upright, though he was left preoccupied with the pain in his skull.

Shovel Knight wanted to capitalize on the opportunity he had, but he had to stop his assault to dance around Specter Knight's swipes. The final swing clipped his elbow and nearly succeeded in taking off his arm. Fortunately, it was just slightly out of range and merely sliced through his armor as though it was nothing but butter.

Starting to grow fearful, he glanced to Albrecht and noticed the Hoverhaft had nearly recovered. Realizing that he would not survive if he once again had both enemies on his ass, he dashed forward and hit Albrecht again, this time successfully knocking him to the ground and very likely out of the fight completely.

Shovel Knight paid the price for this maneuver, however, as Specter Knight was suddenly there, attempting to rip his chest open. He somehow managed to lean to the side fast enough and the most damage done was that one of his horns became detached from his helmet.

Shovel Knight frowned. "Oh come on, that was custom!"

"That's what you're worried about?"

"That costs a lot!"

Specter Knight sighed, to which Shovel Knight grinned. While the ghost was distracted, he jumped forward and knocked away that dreadful scythe.

Specter Knight was not overly concerned and merely attempted to summon it to his side again. Shovel Knight growled and decided he had to knock the ghost out now, even though he was admittedly unsure as to if it were even possible for an undead man to be knocked unconscious.

Aiming to distract more than anything else, he kicked Specter Knight on the thigh. This served its purpose, as the apparition paused in his summoning to gaze at his foe questioningly. That is, until he get hit upside the head with a battle shovel.

As he started to fall to the side, Specter Knight reached forward and grabbed onto the remaining horn on Shovel Knight's helmet, unfortunately dragging him along when the headgear did not simply get pulled off as one would expect.

The two tumbled to the ground rather painfully. Shovel Knight pushed himself to his feet faster than his opponent and hit him as hard as he could. Specter Knight went limp.

Shovel Knight sighed in relief and didn't notice it when his foe's servant appeared behind him and gave him a good whack with her rusty blade.

Mitzi looked around to the three unconscious people in her field of vision. "Well, this is disappointing," she commented to herself.

* * *

(And now for another semi-related section)

Enchantress' log: Entry 713178247192375483294isdhaknclkaenrgnaerg (I _really_ need a better ordering system…)

Well, as it turns out Plague's appearance actually succeeded in _bringing_ some order to the keep. Go figure. King's quite upset at the loss of most of his money, but it stopped his and Propeller's stupid arguing. After they got sore throats from all the yelling, that is, but they aren't bickering anymore, so I suppose that's good.

Meanwhile, Specter got his ass handed to him by Shovel, with help from another decently competent warrior no less! Propeller's bodyguard worked quite well with him, which is what makes it so surprising. I blame the fact that he got cocky, seeing as he held a casual conversation with his servant. Now they're both just lying there. I didn't even know an undead warrior could be knocked unconscious!

And now it looks like Plague's going to get another free essence (maybe even two is Shovel's is strong enough) if he moves his ass over there in a swift and timely manner. I can't believe the fortune he has had today. Maybe he has a luck potion or something. Wouldn't put it past him, really. Although, with that he could easily manipulate many different factors around him and just rule the world with that. He wouldn't even need the Ultimate Potion! Maybe I should just suggest that before this can get out of hand… Although I do want to see just how long this luck of his lasts…

* * *

(And to a slightly more related piece)

"Prepare, ghost!" Plague Knight yelled, bursting his way into where he thought Specter Knight would most likely be based on his rather hasty research.

Turns out he was dead wrong, though, as only the undead spirit present was that of a female, who was playing absentmindedly with a rusty sword.

The girl jumped upon the bird man's entry, but overall did not seem particularly surprised.

Upon getting over the initial shock, she said without waiting for him to say anything, "Yeah, sorry, he's not here right now. But he knew you'd come at some point, so he told me to tell you this if he was out: 'Fuck off, you creepy little coward.'"

Plague Knight's eyes grew wide at this message momentarily before narrowing dangerously. He twitched in annoyance.

The girl took notice of the slight movement and wisely floated away.

"Where is he?" Plague Knight growled.

"You seriously think I'm going to tell you?" The ghost shot back. "Clearly you underestimate me. Or at least my fear of my master."

Plague Knight jumped his way closer to the ghost, bringing his face close to hers, proclaiming in a nigh demonic voice, "And you clearly underestimate me."

The girl squeaked.

* * *

Albrecht groaned as he peeled himself from the ground. "Oh fuck my head hurts!" He groaned, clutching his cranium.

He looked around and saw Specter Knight and Shovel Knight laying on the ground some way to his right. Shovel Knight had the possibility of still being alive, but Specter Knight was definitely dead. Mostly because he was before the fight even began. Haha, jokes!

Deciding he didn't want to deal with that, he retrieved his dropped halberd and turned to keep on looking for Propeller Knight. Yes, even when he has a possible concussion, he will not pause in his search.

He stopped momentarily when he heard a terrified shriek. Feeling rather uncaring at the moment, he did not address it and with a shrug just kept on searching.

A moment passed and suddenly a small man with a bird mask appeared. Again, Albrecht stopped. The two gazed at each other for a moment before the Hoverhaft proceeded to ignore the newcomer. Plague Knight, in turn, ignored him and made his way to Specter Knight and Shovel Knight.

Albrecht heard the alchemist make a vaguely surprised sound and almost started to wonder what he was doing in the Yard to begin with. Glancing over revealed Plague Knight had pulled something resembling orbs from the two unconscious warriors. He stared at the one he obtained from Shovel Knight, as though considering something. He seemed to smile and nodded, giggling softly to himself as he tucked the two spheres away into his pouch.

Albrecht looked away when the alchemist turned his gaze in his direction, resuming his search.

Plague Knight did not make a sound for several moments, but the German could feel his gaze on his back. He wondered if Plague Knight would ask him what he was doing, but then the bird man turned and calmly walked away as though there wasn't one of Propeller Knight's guards throwing rocks around in Specter Knight's domain, potentially without permission.

Albrecht let out a sigh when Plague Knight was finally gone. It wasn't that the alchemist himself creeped him out, it was the silent watching he did when he wasn't exploding something. The two sides of his personality contrasted each other greatly, and it was just odd.

Still, he was gone now. Thusly, Albrecht returned to his mission, ignoring everything that occurred recently did not involve his missing friend.

* * *

(More obnoxious jumping!)

"No," Propeller Knight said immediately.

"So you're seriously-" King Knight tried to ask, only to be cut off.

"Yes."

King Knight rolled his eyes. "Don't complain to me later when your back hurts like hell."

"Oh, you don't have to worry about that, it already does."

The annoyed Frenchman marched forward, grabbing a pillow from the bed.

"That's my pillow," King Knight protested, ceasing when Propeller Knight growled dangerously. "Alright, alright. Yeesh."

Propeller Knight proceeded to curl up on the floor, tightly hugging the pillow with an annoyed scowl on his face.

Letting out a resigned sigh, King Knight merely prepared himself for bed and slipped under the covers.

"Good night, Queen Propeller."

"Do not call me that!"

King Knight frowned as something occurred to him. "You know, I should have thought about this earlier, but what are we going to call you in the presence of others?"

"Oh gods, I have to get up in front of other people?"

"Well, yeah, this whole thing would be for nothing other than shits and giggles otherwise. And quite frankly, I don't see you laughing, so I don't think you'll accept that."

"Huh, look at that, you're right."

"Propeller Knight, come on, you aren't seriously going to sleep on the floor until you finally go back to your ship, are you?"

"I am not a happy person right now, leave me be."

"Fine, but we will deal with this in the morning."

"Whatever."

* * *

When Albrecht finally returned to the Flying Machine, the sun had disappeared beyond the horizon, and he wasn't entirely sure if he should feel surprised or not that he found everyone had simply cuddled up together and proceeded to fall asleep.

Feeling somewhat guilty he forced them to wait for as long as he did, he swiftly located a map and set about gathering reports and sending people off to bed. Not a single person questioned what had taken him so long. They probably just thought that he had been physically and verbally fighting with Specter Knight for a solid hour straight, even though that would inevitably end in him dead. The tired crew members merely informed him of where they went and dragged themselves away.

Unsurprisingly, most everyone had looked in the most peaceful places possible. Surprisingly, Propeller Knight was not at any of them.

By the time that everyone had given their reports, it was at least midnight, and the pain in the German's head was getting worse. With a frustrated groan, he gave up for the night, rolling up the map and putting it by his equipment once he managed to pull it all off.

With a small sigh, he allowed himself to drift off to sleep.

* * *

 **You know, I told myself I wouldn't give Plaguey a large role in this. Technically he doesn't. But he kinda just kept on having these perfect little points where I felt he would fit, so... here he is. I'm probably just going to keep up the tiny little sections until something goes wrong for him and the Enchantress can have a laugh at his luck running out.  
Also, I actually don't really know how Albrecht feels about Plague Knight, and my reference point kinda hasn't indicated to me that she's awake at the moment. And because I'm lazy and wouldn't want to change it later, here we are, with him mildly creeped out by the alchemist's silence.**


	3. Many A Tired Person

**Well, I consider this basically right on time! Huh, beautiful.**

 **I'm going to be so sad when this ends, I just know it... I've even given King Knight his own special color on Word now, this cool yellow-orange. Oh well, I've gotten the go-ahead for another story detailing the adventures of a King Knight that people love getting kicked off the throne by Phantom Striker of all people after a boxing match with the rightful king, who then proceeds to terrorize everyone.**

 **And to answer that lovely question asking what Mitzi looks like... Ya know, I had to ask lkcsi for the answer to that one. I stopped and I went 'Fuck, I don't know that!' And why should I, that's her character, and she never bothered to describe that. Bad lksci! *light slap on wrist*  
But I have an answer now! She has long, straight hair, and the color was... unspecified, fuck. She wears a frilly maid dress, and she lacks feet and ankles because they sliced that shit off so she would no longer be stuck at the bottom of the ocean where she died. She can feel them still, though. Wait, that was never stated in S-hovel K-night, was it... Whoops!**

* * *

3

Mona stared, mouth agape, at the third and fourth essence that her partner had procured. "You have got to be the luckiest bird I've ever met," she commented, carefully grabbing onto Specter Knight's essence and staring at it as though trying to figure out if it were a fake.

Plague Knight snickered at her behavior, but didn't blame it in the slightest. He would have been skeptical if she had pulled the same move on him. "Hee, yes, well, unfortunately I'm not sure Shovel Knight's is worth anything."

"Who cares?" Mona said before realizing that wasn't quite what she meant. "Uh, you know what I mean. Even three in one day is absolutely beautiful! I'm sure it's fine, though. He's a powerful warrior, and that should be more than enough."

"I hope so," Plague Knight muttered.

He was unsure of what removing a person's essence did to them, both he and Mona had completely neglected to figure that out, but they was fairly sure it left the person weakened, if not worse. They could be wrong, though. King Knight and Propeller Knight appeared to be more or less fine after he stole theirs, though it could just be a reaction delayed until after he was gone, which only took a minute.

Honestly, he could check, it's not like it would be hard, but he knew that would only make him fearful if the results showed something less than positive. If neither Shovel Knight's nor Black Knight's essences were powerful enough, he would have to use his own. Even if it did come down to that, his horrible self-esteem told him his essence was beyond worthless anyway. That isn't necessarily a problem until you consider that it's best to get the Enchantress' essence last; lest its indescribable level of power obliterate them all before it could be stabilized. Bribing her to give it up did not seem like it would be much an option, and so a fight appeared quite inevitable, something he would not be able to do if weakened. Waiting was not an option for fear he would be zapped before making a recovery. And there was no way in hell he would let Mona go in there alone or with him acting as dead weight.

"Don't sound so down," Mona told him. She crouched and pat his head, to which he smiled and tilted his head away bashfully, making an odd sound that was somewhat reminiscent of a cat's purring. "You haven't even gotten into a single real fight yet! If his doesn't work, we'll just find another. Remember, using your own is an absolute last resort to be avoided at all costs. The way your luck has been, though, it should be fine."

Plague Knight absentmindedly played with Shovel Knight's essence as he replied, "Hehe, right, but… What is I've used up all my luck?"

Mona raised an eyebrow at this. "Plaguey, luck isn't something that you can just store and keep around like money."

"Well, I can't, but the universe can," Plague Knight countered.

Mona paused for a moment before saying, "I don't think it works like that."

"We have no way of testing it, though, so for all we know, it doesn't matter what you think."

"Thanks for making me feel insignificant."

"Uh, n-no, that's not what I meant!"

Mona simply laughed it off. "I know." She carefully pulled Shovel Knight's essence from his grasp. "Go get some sleep, okay? You may have gotten lucky today, but you might not tomorrow. You'll need some rest."

Plague Knight nodded. "Alright. Thanks."

* * *

Specter Knight awoke in what he figured was about the middle of the night. He groaned in pain and sat up.

"Master, you're awake!" Mitzi exclaimed joyfully.

"Hush," Specter Knight muttered, raising a finger in her general direction, all the while rubbing his head with his other hand.

"Oops, sorry," Mitzi said, accidently disregarding his request for silence.

"Ugh," Specter Knight groaned. "I hurt… Shovel Knight didn't take a cheap shot or two at me when he left, did he?"

Mitzi shot him a confused look. "What? He's right over there."

Specter Knight glanced in the direction that she helpfully pointed in. True to her word, Shovel Knight was there, still passed out.

"Then why do I ache so much? I didn't suffer that much damage in the fight."

"Maybe it's because Plague Knight took that thing from you."

Specter Knight paused and then slowly turned his gaze to his servant. "He took something from me?" He questioned Mitzi with a monotone voice that clearly indicated she should be running for the hills.

Mitzi gulped, easily recognizing what sort of situation she just put herself in. "Uh, yeah. It was this weird orb thing. He took one from Shovel Knight as well."

"And you let him?!" Specter Knight growled, trying, and more or less failing, to keep his anger in check.

"As it turns out, he scares me about as much as you are right now."

Specter Knight grumbled in annoyance to himself, but somehow managed to take a deep breath and successfully calm down to an extent.

"Did you at least think to tell him my message?"

"Yep, I at least managed that. He was very much unhappy."

"Good." Specter Knight glanced around and realized something important. "Where's the Hoverhaft?"

"Oh, him? He finished his search and left a couple hours ago. He didn't seem particularly happy, though."

"I don't think he knows the meaning of happy. I'm glad he's gone. We would have ended up fighting again otherwise."

"Probably."

"So, what time is it?"

"I haven't checked, but I'd say about three."

Specter Knight sighed. "So much for going to see King Knight. Ah, he can wait." He floated up and grabbed Shovel Knight with his telekinesis. "How far do you think I can throw him?"

"In your weakened state? I'd say… a mile, maybe two. Unless you botch the trajectory."

"That should be enough." Turning to where he guessed was closest to the edge of his territory, he tossed Shovel Knight, wishing him lots of pain upon becoming reacquainted with the ground and hoping he would be out of the ghostly hell hole entirely, and if not, then at least surrounded by creatures that wanted to see him dead, although both happening was preferable.

Mitzi squinted as she watched the poor man fly through the air, trying to not lose him as he quickly turned into a small dot in the sky. "I think I was wrong," she said. "It looks like that's approaching three miles."

Specter Knight smirked.

* * *

Albrecht quickly realized that he could not sleep. He drifted in and out of unconsciousness for a couple short hours before giving up. It was still a solid two hours before the time he regularly got up, but the pain in his head was still unfortunately present, and it certainly didn't help that he was incredibly worried for Propeller Knight's wellbeing.

It wasn't that the Frenchman couldn't handle anything himself, far from it; rather it was the fear that he was kidnapped and no longer had any of the things he could use to defend himself with on him. Then he was just a fragile young man who had a pathetically low pain tolerance.

Thusly, the Hoverhaft decided to pull out his map and figure out what places they should look in next. He briefly wondered if it was worth it to look into the Explodatorium. It made sense, as the alchemist living there probably liked having a human test subject every once in a while. But he was tired and pained, and only recalled how creepy Plague Knight had been in the Lich Yard. He didn't want to deal with that again, so he decided to simply avoid the area for a while.

He moved on to the Iron Whale, but quickly disregarded it. Treasure Knight bore no ill will towards the captain, and Propeller Knight had little reason to go there on his own. It was highly doubtful that he was there anyway; he would have certainly drowned trying to simply exist in the place.

Similarly, Tinker Knight had no beef with the missing Frenchman, nor did Mole Knight, and unlike Plague Knight, they didn't have any feasible reason to kidnap him. Polar Knight was the single sane person in the group, and thus was the peacemaker, bringing the likelihood of him doing anything bad to Propeller Knight to the lowest of all of the possible suspects.

This left a mere two people within the order, although just about everywhere else not related to the order still needed to be looked into. Regardless, it was best that he focus on one specific area first, and spread out later when the most dangerous threats were out of the picture.

Thusly, King Knight and Plague Knight. Plague Knight seemed the most likely due to his highly unpredictable nature and the fact that all bets are off with him abandoning the order in a search for power, but it was highly unwise to just disregard King Knight. After all, that man had the most insane relationship with the captain, with him dreaming about the missing man being a bunny, and also managing to mistake him for a woman at least once, although there were probably more similar incidents that occurred which neither of them were willing to speak about.

The last couple hours of the night passed at a decent pace while Albrecht worked, successfully identifying the area that each crew member would be going to when they wake that is best suited for their individual abilities.

After looking the assignments over again, he decided that it was at the very least good enough and posted in on the message board in the kitchen, returning to his room for another short attempt at rest.

* * *

"Sir, it's time to get up," said a voice from outside the room.

King Knight grumbled to himself, unhappy he had been awoken at whatever ungodly hour it was. "Go away!"

The voice sounded quite confused as he said, "B-but sir, you said you had to get up at six so you could, and I quote, 'get that unruly French idiot back in his dress and have his makeup put on before it gets so late that I wonder why I even bother like what happened today.' And now it's seven, so stop complaining."

"I don't care anymore!" King Knight shouted. "Shut up or fuck off, ideally both, in either order!" He could almost hear the guard rolling his eyes as he complied and did both, in the sequence stated.

Grumbling to himself, King Knight glanced over the edge of the bed and found Propeller Knight was still there, sound asleep.

"Did I serious kidnap him and let him sleep on the floor?" He questioned himself, realizing that such a move was probably going to end with him dead, impaled on the end of a deadly halberd if it got out to the Flying Machine's crew.

Regardless, he was tired, and all he wanted to do was sleep, and so he decided he'd ignore it for now in favor of doing just that.

* * *

Shovel Knight found himself in great pain when he finally awoke. Ignoring momentarily the harsh ache in his skull, he glanced around and realized he was no longer in the Lich Yard. In fact, he was in a peaceful forest.

'How did that happen?' He wondered briefly before deciding to just forget it.

He searched his pack for one of his ichors, and quickly remembered that he had neglected to get an Ichor of Renewal in favor of the ones attracting treasure (which, upon thinking about it, was probably just going to hurt him depending on the speed in which the gold came to him) and giving him the power to bash his head against something for a good 10 seconds with no ill repercussions. He had thought that he wouldn't have need of such an item, at least not at such an early stage, where he could just drag himself back to the town's local Magicist for healing. How wrong he was.

Feeling quite saddened now, Shovel Knight looked around for his trusty weapon, only to find that it was nowhere near him. Feeling slightly panicked, he searched the area and was disappointed to not find it.

'Must still be in the Lich Yard,' he realized.

With a heavy sigh, he picked a direction at random and started marching, hoping to at least find a safe cave to rest in for a while until his head stopped hurting so much.

Albrecht awoke several hours after he managed to fall asleep, much to his surprise.

He exited his room and was unsurprised to find that everyone was gone, still on the hunt. While he ate his breakfast (at which point he realized it was probably stupid to have sent out the cooks as well), he weighed his options. Plague Knight or King Knight?

By the time that he was done, he realized that Plague Knight was a bigger threat. Regardless of the likely chance for King Knight to kidnap Propeller Knight, he was far less likely to kill or seriously wound the missing captain.

His decision made, Albrecht prepared himself and flew off for the Explodatorium.

* * *

Specter Knight frowned. "He's still asleep?"

The guard shrugged. "He got a queen… Plague Knight raided his treasury, and stole something from said queen, so I think saying he had a hectic day yesterday is a slight understatement. I blame that."

"Please, his whole existence is one big glob of hectic. Where's his room?"

The guard opened his mouth to protest before thinking better about denying the ghost anything. As such, he meekly pointed to the right. "Down there, first door to your left. Please don't let him kill me."

"No guarantees," Specter Knight informed the man uncaringly as he floated down the hall.

Not feeling particularly concerned about how King Knight would react to being woken, Specter Knight busted down the door with a surprisingly strong kick. Or, at least he would have if the door had been completely closed. He found himself quite glad that he was floating, or else he would have fallen to the ground in a spectacularly pathetic display when the door flew forward with no resistance whatsoever.

Despite this epic fail, the end goal of startling King Knight awake was achieved when the door slammed against the wall with a crash that could be heard a mile away.

King Knight jumped up and started at Specter Knight like he was absolutely crazy. "What was that for?!"

"What kind of king sleeps in so late?" Specter Knight glanced at the body on the floor. "Or allows who I assume is your new queen to sleep on the floor."

King Knight glanced at the lump on the floor. "Yeah, he was kinda pissed about yesterday, so he opted to sleep on the floor."

"Wait, what?!" Specter Knight yelled in a rare display of utter confusion. "Your queen is a he?"

King Knight cocked his head to the side. "Oh, right, forgot you didn't know about that. Yeah, I kidnapped Propeller Knight and am making him pose as my queen for a while."

"And why didn't you inform his crew?" Specter Knight questioned through clenched teeth, angry that he had allowed a German man to utterly destroy his territory for no reason.

King Knight laughed, somehow missing Specter Knight's anger. "Ha, yes, well, Propeller Knight himself was unaware of this until I had him in a nice dress."

Specter Knight wanted to say something in response to this, he really did, but he couldn't come up with anything beyond 'You're kidding me.' After a solid 30 seconds of silence, he managed to move past that and questioned, "Why would you request me over here for planning if you knew you were just going to be preoccupied by forcing him to relearn his role in society?"

King Knight frowned. "Honestly? I can't remember. Bah, I suppose you can go then. Thanks for scaring the living daylights out of me, I suppose."

"Well, aren't you worthless?" Specter Knight commented before turning and floating out, only half-listening to King Knight yelling at him.

It occurred to him that maybe he should be bothered to tell the Hoverhaft looking for Propeller Knight so he wouldn't go around terrorizing the rest of the order. As much as he despised his cohorts, the German man was most likely fully capable of obliterating most opposition, and there was almost no doubt that at least one of them would get into a fight with the guy.

Oh well, it's not like he had anything better to do this morning.

* * *

Plague Knight rather unfortunately found himself being woken by a continuous pounding on the door. At first he thought that he could simply ignore it, but after a solid five minutes of trying to block out it and Mona attempting (and failing at that) to stop the noise, he realized that was not an option.

Groaning, he slipped out from under his covers and sleepily fumbled for his mask. After finding it, he secured it to his head and then pulled on the hood of the cloak he had neglected to take off the day before.

He threw open the door with a scowl on his face, and judging from the flinch, the minion who had dared to wake him could tell.

"What?" He snarled through clenched teeth.

"The uh… um…" The minion stuttered for a moment before stopping and taking a deep breath. "Some guy's raiding the Explodatorium."

"And you can't deal with it?"

"When I left about half an hour ago, he had mowed down 20 of us. And he was only there for about five minutes."

Plague Knight sighed. "Fine."

The minion slowly backed away until he was out of sight.

Plague Knight grumbled to himself as he walked back into his room, searching about.

"What are you looking for?" Mona questioned, following him in.

"My bag," he told her.

"You left it with me so I could refill whatever you used, remember?" She held the container up with a mildly amused look on her face.

Plague Knight cocked his head to the side. "I did? Hee, whoa, I like my past self's forethought."

Mona smiled. "Yes, you tend to be quite impressive like that." She handed the bag over to him.

He let out a tired sigh as he attached it to his belt. "Alright, let's get this over with."

Mona didn't particularly like her partner being unhappy, so she told him, "Hey, look on the bright side, your bed in the Explodatorium is much better than the one down here."

In his tired state, Plague Knight responded without thinking, saying, "Yes, but it's no fun if you're not there to greet me when I wake up."

Mona found that she was surprised by this statement. And quite happy at that. "Then how about I come with you?" She suggested.

Plague Knight was taken aback by the idea. Almost too quickly, he responded, "Um, n-no." He realized that sounded bad and added, "Uh, what I mean is that I can't run the risk of you getting hurt. Hee, right, you get it? You heard the minion, that guy took out 20 guys in a good five minutes."

"Oh, so I can't fight one guy, but you can throw yourself at nine of the valley's biggest threats with reckless abandon?"

"I'm not going at any of the members of the order with reckless abandon, you know I research extensively. But this guy is a completely wild factor; he could really fuck us up."

"Which is exactly why I want to go. He has less of a chance if he has to deal with two competent opponents. Unless you're implying I'm not competent."

"What, no! I'm not… oh fine. Just don't get hurt, alright?"

"Right, because I'm totally going to purposely let myself get hurt."

"Ah… Hahaha, dammit, Mona, you're going to make me worry."

* * *

Enchantress' log: Entry 713178247192375483294isdhaknclkaenrgnaerh (huh, would you look at that, I keep insisting on this)

So, Specter is in on the whole 'queen' nonsense. Interesting. I can't wait to see how he's going to fuck with people's heads using that. That'll be a sight to behold.

Meanwhile, it appears the Hoverhaft is destroying Plague's lair. Ah, well, the idiot had it coming to him with that betrayal. I'm interested to see the fight that will inevitably ensue, though. One is a long range fighter with way too much luck, but the other makes use of close combat and really probably refuses to believe such a thing exists.

Maybe I should eliminate that woman so there's a proper one on one fight, although I'm sure it would be interesting to see how long a two on one fight would last. I suppose I shouldn't interfere anyway in the interest of watching how long Plague's luck lasts. Bah, I'll decide later.

* * *

Shovel Knight had never quite been so happy to see civilization before. Okay, maybe he had been more joyful that one time him and Shield Knight had got their asses handed to them about five times in the same day, but that was years ago, so he really couldn't remember how ecstatic he had been at the time of finally seeing occupied buildings.

Regardless, now he was at… the Armor Outpost?

"Whoa," he muttered upon realizing where he had arrived at.

"Hello, friend, you look lost," greeted the nearby guard. After a moment, he added, "And a little beaten up."

Shovel Knight wanted to play it cool and claim that he wasn't lost and that he had gotten into a fight with Specter Knight, of course he looked a little beaten up! And after that minor ordeal, he had merely wandered off the beaten path in the hopes for finding adventure in the woods and somehow arrived here. However, he lacked his shovel and had a massive headache and came to the conclusion that it simply wasn't worth it to lie, especially to that extent.

"Yeah, I kinda am," he admitted with a small sigh.

* * *

 **And thus there's not going to be more than two more chapters! lkcsi's wishes, see? Ah, well, it's all good, right?**

 **Ah, anyway, next time, a bird man and a Hoverhaft are going to duke it out, Specter Knight may or may not locate the latter before one successfully murders the other, and Shovel Knight may or may not actually get his shovel back. And maybe Propeller Knight will actually have a damn speaking role. Oops, you know you're doing something wrong when the all of the side characters are getting more screentime than the central character... That was unintentional, I swear.**

 **Also, this is odd, but I felt the need to give each of the sections a time... So the first one is... sometime before the main day, second is around three, King's is about seven, Shovel's first is around seven-thirty, Albrecht's is about eight, Specter's second is a little after Albrecht's, maybe even overlapping just a little, Plague's second section is a bit after eight-thirty, I'm not sure when the Enchantress pops in, and the final one... I also didn't bother giving a time. But hot damn was he walking a long time!**


	4. You're Getting Closer, Albrecht

**Okay, another one done! Go me, I suppose! Next is going to be the end! Which is both sad and very good.**

 **I've decided that I want to make a story based off of the wacky text adventures of Lkcsi and I, the strangeness of which is lampshaded by the two seemingly random females (that is us because of course we'd comment on the situations we come up with) that inexplicably pop up everywhere and question everything! Me being the one who asks 'What the fuck?' a lot and Lkcsi being the one to just tell me to shut up and let it happen, because that's effectively what goes on there.**

 **Or I'll make a story that may or may not actually be SK fanfiction. I don't know, it started as the vague idea of Persona 4 with SK characters because I love those type of stories, but then I realized Personas doesn't exactly work there, because I'd have to make new Personas for every character who would get one. And that wouldn't work, especially since I'm in love with the idea that there are 9 different Specter Knights. So now it's this weird... thing that I can't really place, but I'm really starting to like. Maybe I'll give more details in the next chapter if I can come up with anything.**

* * *

4

"Up, you lazy French idiot!" King Knight yelled to the still sleeping Propeller Knight, lightly kicking him in the side and pulling off the blanket he had somehow managed to acquire.

Propeller Knight grumbled and curled into a small ball, hugging his pillow like it could somehow save him from the abuse.

"Do not make me get the guards," King Knight threatened.

"Alright, alright, I'm up," Propeller Knight muttered unhappily, lazily dragging himself to his feet.

"Yeesh, I never took you as the type to sleep in."

"I'm not. I blame you."

King Knight rolled his eyes. "You're going to blame me when the sun dies out; I'm not really all that wounded by such an insult."

"That wasn't meant to harm you. This, however, is." Propeller Knight proceeded to then kick King Knight's shin, causing him to yelp in a rather undignified manner and drop to the ground, holding onto the affected area.

"I hate you," King Knight snarled.

"I love you too," Propeller Knight muttered sarcastically.

King Knight growled and pushed himself to his feet. "Come, in the dress," he commanded, pointing to the attire that had suddenly appeared in the corner of the room.

"Was that always there?" Propeller Knight asked, not remembering what had happened to the dress after he had finally been freed of it.

"No, I had a servant deliver it here after having it washed because you managed to get it incredibly dirty."

"You're the one who went running for the guards the instant I got mad."

"You are a scary Frenchman when you want to be."

"And you're an easily frightened Englishman. You don't see me complaining."

"You have no reason to complain until I abandon you in the middle of a big fight."

"Of which you would most likely do."

"Shut up."

"Oh, that's true and you know it."

"In the dress!"

"No!"

"So what are you going to do, wander about in your underwear all day?"

"It's less humiliating."

"Gods, aren't you annoying. Come on!"

King Knight forcefully dragged Propeller Knight over to the dress and attempted to force him into the dress. Propeller Knight did not particularly like this, however, and attempted to do the exact opposite. The end result of five minutes or so of this was, rather unsurprisingly, a shouting contest.

"Fuck you!"

"Fuck you with a stick!"

"Fuck you with my scepter!"

"Fuck you with my rapier!"

The guards standing within hearing range looked to each other in confusion.

One approached the other and asked, "Do you know what this is about?"

The man shook his head. "Best not to question it."

"But-"

"Do you want to go in there to find out?"

"No. Ugh, fine."

"Now you're learning."

* * *

Shovel Knight hungrily tore into the chicken that had been set in front of him by the local cook.

"You're going to choke," the guard who had helped him out said. "Slow down."

Shovel Knight did so as a question was asked from the cook.

"So, clearly you're in a right pickle. What're you going to do?"

"Get my shovel back," Shovel Knight answered.

"You might want to fix that armor of yours first," the guard suggested.

Shovel Knight glanced at the state of it and said, "It'll hold up. I'm just sad about the horn."

"I feel like your priorities are a little skewed there."

"They're not, trust me."

"Not like I can do much more than that."

"So you're just going to jump into the Lich Yard with no protection?" The cook asked, staring at the adventurer like he was crazy.

Shovel Knight thought for a couple seconds. "Well, no. I'll figure something out."

"I hope you do so quickly if you're really the one who can liberate us of the Enchantress' minions. We're surrounded on all sides by the order. We can't really do anything right now," the guard pointed out.

"Yeah, don't worry about it. I'll just…" Shovel Knight wondered if it was worth it to try. He concluded that it probably was and continued, "I'll use a shield. I mean, my partner managed it, why can't I?"

"But she was a specialized warrior, wasn't she?" The cook questioned.

"That is true, but I can manage it until I get my weapon back."

The cook laughed nervously while the guard muttered, "If you say so," with a roll of the eyes that gave the impression he was immediately giving up hope that Shovel Knight could be victorious against the order.

* * *

Enchantress' log: Entry 713178247192375483294isdhaknclkaenrgnaeri:

I shouldn't. But I want to. But I really shouldn't. Why did I seriously write that?

His luck might change with my interference. And I do so want to see it. But I also want to see him and the Hoverhaft duke it out without the assistant there to interrupt. Wait, why don't I just watch the other universe with my magic? And why am I recording my thoughts so thoroughly onto this stupid piece of paper? I keep accidently burning the pages anyway!

Whatever, now I just need to decide which path this universe will take. Hm… why did I seriously just write that a noise? I'm going crazy, I just know it. Seriously, why would I write down an ellipsis?

I need to get away from this journal, fuck.

Whatever, decision made! Not so pleasant dreams upon you, assistant!

* * *

"Shouldn't we be moving at a slightly faster pace?" Mona questioned as they strolled down the path.

Plague Knight shrugged uncaringly. "Everything important is in the Potionarium."

"We're still going to have to clean up… and buy new flasks and beakers, and so many other things, though. And it's just going to keep getting worse the longer we're out here."

Plague Knight thought for a second. "That is very much true. But keep in mind you're the one who wanted to walk. Feel the sun and whathaveyou."

"Yes, but I'm over it now. I remember now that the sun is bright and annoying and the wind negates any warmth it gives off."

Plague Knight chuckled. "Hehe, that is true. Fine then, we'll teleport." He reached into his bag and pulled out a teleportation potion set to send the user to the Explodatorium.

Mona stepped forward to be within the blast's radius before suddenly fainting. Plague Knight dropped his potion immediately and jumped forward, successfully catching her before she hit the ground. The potion exploded at their feet, and they appeared at the Explodatorium's entrance not a moment later. Plague Knight completely ignored this in favor of paying attention to his partner.

He stared at her for a moment before asking, "Mona?"

* * *

Dammit, where was he?

Specter Knight growled in annoyance. He was attempting to do the mundane task of wandering about who knows where trying to find a Hoverhaft that shouldn't be as difficult to locate as he was being. And he was failing.

"The idiot is loud and obnoxious, how can I not just find him through the mere unfortunate act of having him in my thoughts?!"

Briefly he wondered if it would be worth it to send out some of his ghost minions to help him search before laughing at the thought.

"Then they'd have to track me down," he muttered when he realized the flaw in such a plan.

He sighed. This was going to be a long day.

* * *

Shovel Knight stared at the slime in front of him, and then turned his gaze down to the shield he held. He frowned.

"How?" He questioned.

"How should I know?" The guard replied unhelpfully, who by this point had returned to his post, but was still well within earshot of the adventurer.

"You're not helping," Shovel Knight informed him.

"I'm aware."

Shovel Knight rolled his eyes and approached the enemy, staring into its rather innocent looking eyes for a moment before bashing it. It promptly exploded.

Shovel Knight looked at the shield incredulously. "Wow! That usually takes a lot more effort."

The guard was thoroughly unimpressed. "Are you done now?"

"Quite," was Shovel Knight's reply as he wandered his way to the forest.

"The Lich Yard is the other way!" The guard shouted, exasperated. "I just told you that!"

Shovel Knight turned on his heel, marching in the correct direction this time. "Right, I knew that!"

"No you didn't," the guard muttered.

* * *

Plague Knight let out a low, pitiful whine as he tried to figure out what to do. Almost as soon as he arrived, everyone and their dog mutation decided it was high-time for him to die, thinking him and the body he tightly held onto were just more intruders.

He had taken care of them quickly enough, but now he was left with the worry of how to move his partner across a lair full of minions that were out to murder them. He wasn't prepared to just leave her, but he also couldn't move her. She was simply too heavy for his scrawny ass arms to handle, as much as he hated the thought.

He let out an annoyed groan and paced about for a moment before coming to a conclusion. "Let's give it a go," he muttered, approaching Mona's unconscious form.

* * *

Specter Knight paused. Was that screaming he heard?

He glanced over to the Explodatorium, still a solid mile away.

'No, Plague Knight's out, at least, if what Mitzi said is any indication,' Specter Knight thought. 'But nothing else over there could possibly make anyone scream loud enough that I could hear it literally a mile away.' After a moment of thought, he decided, 'Ah, fuck it, might as well.'

With a shrug, the ghost man started floating over to the building in the distance.

* * *

'Oh crap,' Plague Knight thought, his eyes growing wide. 'I thought he was further in than this!'

Across from him, the Explodatorium's assailant, that being Propeller Knight's bodyguard, was cutting open any idiot who dared to approach.

'Crap, sneak around, sneak around! This is so much more difficult than it should be!'

Plague Knight wished he could have taken advantage of the fact that the Hoverhaft had his back turned. All of the Plague Minions were running head on with a complete disregard for their lives and it seemed that Albrecht simply was no longer expecting a long ranged back attack. He couldn't use this opportunity, though. It would enrage and slightly wound the man, but not a whole lot else, and just lead to him counterattacking. It was not something he could risk. Not now.

He glanced at Mona. Still not showing any signs of stirring. She was currently slung upon his shoulders in what he imagined was the most uncomfortable way possible. He was able to move her this way, but he got the distinct impression that he was going to get slapped if she woke up to find herself in such a position.

He looked back to the Hoverhaft. Still not looking at him. Time to move.

* * *

"Where is he?" Albrecht questioned.

A frightened minion slowly raised a finger. Confused, as he didn't expect his boss to be in plain sight, the German looked behind him to find Plague Knight was attempting to sneak away, having at some point arrived and apparently decided it wasn't worth it. He stopped when he noticed he was being watched.

"Uh…" the alchemist said in response to being caught.

'Not what I meant, but it'll work,' Albrecht thought before demanding as he approached the scientist, "Where is he?"

Plague Knight twitched, as though looking for an escape route. It made sense he would, he was hardly one for direct confrontation, which certainly wasn't helped by the fact that he was attempting, and surprisingly not utterly failing, at carrying a fully grown woman. He was struggling, though, that much seemed obvious, or maybe the shaking and deep breathing was as a result of fear. Albrecht didn't really care either way; he just wanted to find his boss so he could get out.

"W-who are you talking about?" Plague Knight asked in return.

"You know who I'm talking about; I wouldn't burst in here looking for anyone else."

Plague Knight laughed. "Haha, sure. For all I know, you're looking for a pink carnivorous rabbit with the legs of a deer and ears made of porcelain that you've named Billy. I happen to know where one is if you do actually need one, though. Won't be named, of course, but that's a minor detail."

"I have no reason to be looking for such a creature."

"Well, maybe Propeller Knight would want one."

"Maybe he does. I wouldn't know, because he's missing, and I have a sneaking suspicion you are the one to have taken him."

"I'm busy, I don't have any need for Propeller Knight anymore; I've gotten what I needed from him." Plague Knight turned and started to make his way out of the room before pausing mid-step and realizing his mistake.

"What did you take from him?" Albrecht demanded dangerously.

Plague Knight slowly turned his head to stare at his foe. Albrecht could almost smell the sweat running down his face as he tried to get himself out of the situation he had gotten himself into. "T-that's none of your business."

"I think it is." Plague Knight sucked in air to reply, but was cut off. "You are in no condition to fight, alchemist. Your dear passenger will get hurt if you put her down to attack, but you cannot hope to win against me carrying her. Even if you do put her down somewhere safe, you are still in far worse condition than me. It would only take one second of being within range of my weapon, and it will all be over."

Albrecht smirked when he heard the sound of Plague Knight grinding his teeth in frustration.

* * *

Shovel Knight carefully stepped into Specter Knight's domain. The border was blatantly obvious, as the lush green grass suddenly became wilted and dead with no real in-between.

A skeleton who had been watching him carefully before suddenly charged head first at the warrior.

Shovel Knight yelped and panicked immediately, rushing to meet the enemy halfway and bashing it over the head. The skeleton fell to the ground and Shovel Knight started repeatedly smashing its skull in to ensure it didn't come back. He let out a sigh of relief and felt quite glad no one had been around to witness that particular display of complete and utter lack of tact.

'Okay, this is not off to a good start,' he thought as he stepped over the remains of the undead creature.

* * *

Plague Knight weighed his options carefully. Both were degrading: give up or get beaten up. He'd have to admit his failure to Mona one way or another. He briefly wondered if she would get insulted if he told her he had fought, but got bested because he was trying to juggle a fight and keeping her out of the way.

"Well?" Albrecht questioned after a minute had past.

Growling, Plague Knight asked, "Fine, what do you want to know?" He imagined the Hoverhaft was smirking under that helmet of his.

"First, what did you take from him?"

Plague Knight let out a low sigh as he answered, "His essence."

There was a brief pause before Albrecht responded. "I should kill you for that."

"You don't even know what that is! He should be perfectly fine, maybe with some extra sleep, it'll be fine, don't try to kill me!"

Albrecht cocked his head to the side, either debating on a punishment or wondering how Plague Knight could plead for his life while also sounding incredibly offended.

"Fine. Where is he?"

"I don't know. I doubt he's still there."

Albrecht brought the tip up his halberd up to Plague Knight's throat. "Do you want to die?" Plague Knight begrudgingly shook his head. "Then where was he?"

"Pridemoor Keep."

Both parties stared at each other for a moment before glancing around in confusion. Neither one of them had said that, Mona was still unconscious, and all present minions had been killed.

"Great, another intruder?" Plague Knight questioned. "Just what I need."

"I'm just here for the Hoverhaft," Specter Knight replied as he appeared out of the shadows in an overdramatic fashion. Neither Plague Knight nor Albrecht were particularly impressed by this trick.

"He's in Pridemoor Keep?" Albrecht asked.

Specter Knight nodded. "Yes, he is. I figured it was best to just end the insanity now. Be glad I did."

Albrecht sighed. "Great, that place will far more difficult to bust in than here."

"Are you insulting me?" Plague Knight snarled.

"No, I'm insulting your guards," Albrecht informed him.

Plague Knight shrugged. "Okay, you have every right to make fun of them."

"Why don't you just rush in?" Specter Knight suggested. "Aren't you Germans great at invading places and destroying things?"

"I'm the only German on the crew. The rest are French."

"Well, then teach them how to be a German for the day."

Plague Knight snickered. "Be sure to teach them the accent!"

Albrecht rolled his eyes. "Yes, you people are hilarious." He looked to Specter Knight. "Gather my troops."

"Why should I?" The undead man questioned, crossing his arms.

"Because I am also going to be looking and I would prefer to do this today."

"And you can't wait because what now?"

"Because I said I want to do it today, so we're doing it today! Now go!"

Specter Knight stared at the Hoverhaft for a brief moment before saying "No." He turned and floated away.

Plague Knight snorted, greatly amused by the display.

"I hate you all," Albrecht growled as he took his leave through way of busting down a nearby wall and flying out.

"Well now, fuck you too," Plague Knight said casually as he stared at the wreckage. "Oh fuck me; this is going to be so hard to clean up."

* * *

"Shovel! Shovel! Where art thou shovel?" Shovel Knight called out fruitlessly, fully aware his shovel could not answer him.

Didn't stop him from shouting, though.

"I'm sorry, shovel. Please come back!"

A skeleton got annoyed with his yelling and rushed him. Without even giving it a glance, he swung the shield he held at its face. It crumpled immediately, and he continued his calling without missing a beat.

"What are you looking for?"

Shovel Knight jumped, for some reason not expecting to find a sentient being in the Yard.

"My shovel."

There was silence for a moment before, "It's at your feet, dumbass."

Shovel Knight looked down and realized that yes, his bright blue, impossible to miss shovel was indeed at his feet.

Shovel Knight screeched and threw the shield to the side, bonking the skeleton that was attempting to reform on the head and making it collapse again, scooping up his shovel as though it were a lover Specter Knight had captured and held hostage.

"I'm so sorry, shovel; I'll never lose you again!"

"Would you get out of here?"

"Yes." Shovel Knight stood and calmed made his way out the way that he had come.

"Huh, that worked," Mitzi commented as she stared at the back of her master's foe as he happily skipped away, swinging at a seemingly random arc and cutting though a passing skeleton's spine with sufficient ease.

* * *

 **And there we go! While you're here, wanna hear some interesting news? A college student, a motherfucking college student, wanted to buy one of my LoZ stories. Holy shit on a stick! I've decided to just give it to him for free because otherwise that would involve informing my mother I write this type of stuff, and while I love it, I do not want to tell her, as that would be the weirdest conversation. 'Hey mother, some guy wants to pay me for a story I posted on a site I've been writing on for nearly three years not!'  
Funny thing is, that was one of those stories that I didn't flesh out at all when I made it, I was just like 'I want to make a thing!' and so I made a thing. Haha. Whatever, if he thinks it's good, I'm not going to dispute it.**


	5. The End

**I literally did this in one day. Because I figured I needed to give my dear lkcsi something to hopefully laugh over. She deserves something nice. But I can only provide her with blocks of text, so... this is pretty much some of the best I can give. All things considering... I'm happy. It's not bad. I think it turned out pretty fucking hilarious considering I wrote a good 3152 words in a couple hours.**

 **Now then... Jason. I meant to say something to you last chapter and completely forgot. Oops. Anyway, glad to have you on board, bud. You know, I want a picture for this, but let's face it, I would not be able to draw Propeller in a dress! Or anything else that happens in this story with significance that would deserve a picture to be made off it. And I agree, there isn't enough SK fanfics in this world. Luckily we got good long ones, but... Hey, I'll be writing way more SK still, if that helps. I just need to figure out what. I've got 4700 words on a story about them in a more modern time going on magical adventures in a manner that's highly reminiscent of Persona that I'm becoming quite fond of. It's not as terrible as it sounds, trust me...**

* * *

"Plaguey, I'm fine," Mona said quietly, gently petting his head in an attempt to get him to calm down.

"Then why did you faint?" Plague Knight asked as he weakly hugged her.

"I can't say for sure. But I do know that whatever it was, it's probably not going to happen again. If it does, then we worry."

"Would you be worried if I passed out?"

"Well, yes, of course."

"Hee, good, good, that's good… because I'm tired. I'm not saying you're heavy, but… you're heavy." With this, the small alchemist collapsed.

"Plaguey!" Mona yelled, scrambling to catch him. She sighed. "Ah shit."

* * *

"Are you ready?!" Albrecht yelled.

"I… I kinda feel bad about this," a random crew member muttered just loud enough for the second in command to hear.

"Well, you'd better squash those feelings because we are saving him and we are not doing it diplomatically!" Albrecht yelled.

The random member of the Flying Machine turned to another random member and asked, "And the Enchantress doesn't stop all this infighting because… what now?" In response, he received a shrug.

"Are you done?" Albrecht asked slowly.

"I suppose," the random member muttered.

"Then we are out of here! We have wasted too much time already!" The shout earned a couple confused and only partly enthusiastic cheers.

"He isn't going anywhere!" The unnamed man said, exasperated.

"I don't care!"

"Gods, have you two been dating behind our backs?" The random man asked. "Is that why you're acting like this?"

"A: No," Albrecht replied. "B: That's none of your business anyway! C: I can be protective of him if I choose to be! D: Would you stop arguing with me?!"

"Nah, that'd take all of the fun out of it," the random man said. He flinched when Albrecht fixed him with a glare that nearly made him have a heart attack out of fear. "Righto, let's go get the captain."

"Thank you," Albrecht growled.

"Anything to keep you from killing me."

* * *

"I hope you realize you are going to die painfully when my crew finds me," Propeller Knight said to King Knight as they wandered their way to dinner.

"Nah, I'll be fine," King Knight replied, confidently smacking his chest plate.

"No, you will not," Propeller Knight informed him darkly.

"Right, sure," King Knight laughed.

"The second Albrecht gets here…"

"Right, right, he'll slice me in half or whatever. That'll never happen. My armor is much too strong! He'll never even dent it!"

Propeller Knight frowned and punched his kidnapper. The protective metal bent inwards upon impact.

King Knight looked at the damage in confusion. "It appears you have found a weak spot. Thank you; I shall have that buffed out soon enough. Uh, are you alright?"

Propeller Knight was on the floor, curled up in a ball as he cried because he just punched something very hard, and consequently likely at least fractured a couple bones. "No, I am not alright!" He shouted. "I think I've broken my hand!"

"You were just begging for that, weren't you?" King Knight questioned, seemingly unconcerned. "Come on, up, you're getting your dress dirty."

"I don't care!" Propeller Knight cried. "Where's my crew, I want my friends!"

King Knight sighed. "Oh boy, here we go."

* * *

Enchantress' log: Entry 713178247192375483294isdhaknclkaenrgnaerj: (maybe if I start banging my head against a wall for a couple hours every day, I'll stop this nonsense)

You know, I'm honestly disappointed in Specter. He didn't opt to fuck with anyone; he just gave away the information without a price or hassle! What a waste.

I suppose I should just get over it, but dammit I wanted to see that. Being immortal isn't all it's cracked up to be if there isn't anything interesting happening around you.

And on that note… They didn't even fight dammit! Even in the alternate timeline, where they just sat around and bickered for a solid three minutes before Specter showed up and the paths seemingly merged back into one! I was hoping for _some_ blood, but that stupid Hoverhaft couldn't be bothered to so much as nick Plague before flying off, the asshole. And now he aims to retrieve his boss and end this madness. Then what will I do? Watch Plague? Please, he's not going to want to drag himself out of bed after that disaster!

Ugh, I hate actively trying to create my own fun; I think I killed off my imagination a while ago.

* * *

"I'm going to kill you all!" Albrecht announced arbitrarily as he burst through a wall, the destruction of which completely drowning out his words. Soon, the rest of the Flying Machine's crew appeared, albeit at a slightly slower pace.

"Do you actually know where he is?" The random crew member from earlier asked.

"Not a clue," Albrecht admitted.

"So let me get this straight… we just busted down a wall and likely alerted the whole castle… And you don't even know where he might be?! This gives King Knight plenty of time to run away with Propeller Knight in tow, who will likely not think that it's us!"

Albrecht was silent for a moment before yelling, "Oh fuck me! Everyone, split up and tear this place apart! Quickly, at that! Kill everyone but the captain!"

"And what if a knocked down wall falls on the boss? Or someone accidentally kills the boss while chopped up guards?"

"Would you shut up?"

"No, I think I'm the voice of reason here."

"You're annoying, that's what you are."

"Says the person who isn't thinking."

"Shut up, I'm worried!"

"Geez…"

Albrecht frowned and flew away, ignoring the other Hoverhaft that followed behind him.

* * *

"They aren't broken?" Propeller Knight asked. "They feel like it."

"Not in the slightest," answered the castle's doctor. "They're perfectly fine."

Propeller Knight sighed, relieved.

Suddenly, the door burst open. The panicked guard yelled, "Sir, there's an entire army slaughtering us!"

"What? Who?" King Knight demanded.

"It's the-" The man was cut off when his head became detached from the rest of his body.

"Flying Machine's crew," Propeller Knight finished the man's sentence calmly, ignoring the blood that flew from the corpse.

Albrecht landed to the side of the body, staring King Knight down. "King Knight," he muttered coldly.

King Knight opened his mouth to respond, but then paused. "I don't remember your name, actually."

"It's Albrecht, you dunce," Propeller Knight informed him.

Albrecht reacted swiftly, and Propeller Knight found a halberd leveled at his neck. "How did you know that?"

"You can't figure it out from my not at all girly voice?"

Albrecht stared at him for a second before nearly dropping his halberd in surprise. "Oh dear gods, what the hell?! Okay, who's the asshole? King Knight's the asshole, right?!"

Propeller Knight nodded. "King Knight is the asshole."

Albrecht smiled cruelly. "Oh, I am going to enjoy killing him…"

"And I'm going to enjoy watching! Speaking of him, where is the little bastard?"

The two friends glanced about the room, and only found a cowering doctor.

"Well shit!" Albrecht snarled.

Propeller Knight shrugged. "It'll be fine, he can't get too far. He certainly isn't getting far in that armor."

"True," Albrecht agreed.

"Can we go get my stuff now? I really don't want to keep wearing this awkwardness."

Albrecht looked at the dress and took a second to take it in. "Yeah, let's… let's… are those fake breasts?"

Propeller Knight looked down, having forgotten that aspect of his attire. "That they are!"

"Dear gods, please remove those. That's distracting."

Propeller Knight shook his head. "Can't, sorry. Part of the dress, you see."

"And you can't just remove the dress?"

"Do you know how awkward it would be to wander about in my underwear in front of my whole crew?"

"Would you rather face them wearing heavy makeup and that?"

Propeller Knight shook his head. "I suppose not." He quickly tried to remove the attire, but stopped after a couple minutes of struggling. He sighed. "I hate dresses."

Albrecht realized what was wrong immediately and asked "Need some help?"

Propeller Knight sagged somewhat as he said, "…Yes."

* * *

Mitzi blinked. "Wait… you aren't joining the raid?"

Specter Knight shrugged. "Yeah. I don't want King Knight on my ass about anything. That's a bit too much of chore for me given recent events. So I just won't let him know I was involved. I'll just show up later to collect the spirits of the inevitable mass of deceased."

Mitzi nodded slowly. "Right okay."

"You sound confused," Specter Knight noted.

"I think I am?"

"Lovely. Come now, we have work to do."

* * *

Propeller Knight stomped on the dress that he had thrown on the ground. "And stay there," he commanded.

"You really hate that thing, huh?" Albrecht muttered as he watched his friend.

"I only had to deal with it for a little over a day, but oh you have no clue how much I despise this overly elaborate piece of cloth."

Albrecht snickered. "I think I have a pretty good idea."

"Right, can we go get my clothes now? It's cold here. I never realized just how bad a draft this castle has until now."

"That may be because of the new gaping hole in the wall."

"Albrecht?"

"Yes?"

"Why, pray tell, would there be a gaping hole in the wall?"

"I wanted to find you and get you out now rather than the month or two it would surely take through negotiations. So… I kinda busted down a wall in the north wing."

Albrecht was fully expecting to get badgered about destroying the base of someone who they were supposed to call 'ally.' Instead, he got a surprise hug.

"There is a reason you are my best friend, and that is it!" Propeller Knight wailed.

Albrecht was unsure of quite how to deal with the crying Frenchman, and settled for gently patting his back.

Many of Propeller Knight's crew had realized that their boss had been found and had gathered outside the room.

"It was only a day!" The random Hoverhaft yelled, exasperated. "You know what? Fuck it, I give up!"

"Shall we go find your stuff now?" Albrecht suggested as his boss pulled himself away.

"Yes, let's. Although I think we need to find King Knight first."

Albrecht looked to the troops. "I think you know what you need to do," he told them, to which they all nodded and flew away. "And now… we wait."

* * *

"King Knight was fucking loaded," Mona commented to herself as she once again stopped counting the coins Plague Knight had brought back with him from when he raided Pridemoor Keep so she could look at the massive pile of money laid out before her in a surprisingly carefully organized system. Thus far, she had counted 30,000 in coins, and that wasn't including the jewels of unknown value and what she had already counted that she left back in the Potionarium, which was around 10,000 coins, again, without the gems. "I swear, he has more money than Treasure Knight. And that is seriously saying something."

She again reached into Plague Knight's infinite pouch and this time grabbed a hold of a large sack. Confused, she pulled it out and looked inside.

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me," she muttered upon seeing its contents.

* * *

"Got him!" The random Hoverhaft announced as they returned to where Propeller Knight waited, dragging King Knight behind.

"Good," Propeller Knight purred. "Now then, Kingy… where is my shit?"

"I should hope in a toilet," King Knight replied, crossing his arms.

"You know what I mean," Propeller Knight growled. Albrecht held up his halberd, silently threatening the usurper.

"I know, I know," King Knight muttered. "Alright, fine, it's probably with Plague Knight."

"Plague Knight? Probably?" Propeller Knight questioned.

"He raided the treasury, it's not my fault," King Knight huffed.

"You were keeping my stuff with your money?"

"Yeah, I abducted you; doesn't mean I'd punish you by getting rid of your shit as well. But of course, that whole room's empty now, so either Plague Knight took it, or he picked it up and moved it to another room for shits and giggles. And frankly, I wouldn't put it past him."

"Yeah, me neither," Propeller Knight agreed. He groaned. "Great, now I have to go on a walk through the forest in my underwear."

"We could airlift you," Albrecht suggested.

"And risk getting spotted? Uh, no thank you."

Albrecht shrugged. "Suit yourself. Let's get going then. Otherwise it'll be past midnight before we get there."

"Wait, you're seriously just going to leave?!" King Knight yelled as the army walked away.

"Yep," Propeller Knight replied.

"You've destroyed the keep!"

"Indeed we did," Albrecht said.

"You kinda had it coming to you," Propeller Knight added.

King Knight silently stared at the retreating backs of the many French men and one German. He sighed.

* * *

"Plaguey…"

Plague Knight smiled at the thought that his partner enjoyed getting to call him that name.

"Come on, lazyass."

He briefly wondered how nice she was to other people; whenever he was in her presence, she only showed a real fondness for him, although it was veiled by that constant mask of indifference.

"Would you just wake up?"

Okay, now she was sounding a tad annoyed.

"Do not make me roll you off your bed."

Plague Knight dared to crack open an eye.

"Finally…"

Mona stood over him, holding…

"Is that Propeller Knight's helmet?" Plague Knight asked groggily, trying to wake up and failing miserably. "Why do you have that?"

Mona glanced at the helmet in her hands. "You know, I was asking myself the same thing. And then I figured I could just ask you."

Plague Knight rolled over, curling into a ball. "Not a clue."

"Oh really? I found it in your bag while counting the money you stole from King Knight."

"Why does that sound accusing?"

"I'm not accusing you of anything, Plaguey."

"Sounds like you are. I swear to you… I did not steal the clothing of a tall, annoying French guy."

"Plaguey, I'm pretty sure he only has one of these helmets. He's going to come looking for it if he gets any idea that it's here."

Plague Knight bolted upwards, his voice filled with dread as he said, "And that means the return of _him_."

"Him?" Mona questioned.

Plague Knight quickly gave her the short version of what happened while she was unconscious.

"Oh," Mona muttered. She poked him in the side. "Don't tell me you're scared of him now. You could have taken him if it weren't for me dragging you down."

"Maybe, but… he did kinda destroy the lab and kill half of our workers. And blew a hole in the wall."

"True…"

* * *

"There's a hole in the side of the Explodatorium," Propeller Knight noted as he stared at the building, of which was still half a mile away.

"Yeah, that's, uh… that's my work," Albrecht admitted.

"Geez, apparently I need to keep you on a leash," Propeller Knight teased.

Albrecht turned his head away from his companion indignantly. "Oh, shush, do you know what he could do to you?"

Propeller Knight cocked his head to side as he thought before finally proclaiming, "I always saw him as harmless. Crazy, but ultimately can't hurt you _that_ much."

"And I see him as a psychopath who cuts animals open when he's bored," Albrecht replied.

Propeller Knight shook his head. "He can't be a psychopath; he doesn't come off as trustworthy, or charming, or any of that."

Albrecht frowned. "When did you learn anything about psychology?"

Propeller Knight grinned sheepishly and shrugged. "I didn't. I just heard one of the crew talking about it one day."

"Lovely. I still see him as sociopath," Albrecht informed him.

"I thought you said you saw him as a psychopath?" Propeller Knight questioned.

Albrecht nodded slowly. "Yeah, is there a difference?"

"As a matter of fact, there is," Propeller Knight said.

Albrecht gently shoved his superior, saying, "Oh fuck off, you hardly know any more than me."

Propeller Knight grinned. "Maybe not, but I am still beating you at this little game, am I not?"

"Who cares? It's not like I get anything if I win."

"Besides satisfaction?"

"Besides satisfaction."

* * *

"Mona, are you sure about this?" Plague Knight asked.

"Of course not!" She replied with a borderline evil grin on her face.

"Won't it break the helmet?"

"Maybe! Let's find out!"

"You are truly nuts," Plague Knight commented. "Luckily for you, I'm quite fond of nuts."

"Oh, are you now?" Mona questioned with a teasing grin.

Plague Knight let out a sigh mixed with a laugh. "Wrong nuts."

"I know; I just couldn't resist. Ready?"

"You're the one manning it. I'm just watching."

"Well, then are you ready to watch something hopefully incredible?"

"You got it set to the little dots in the distance?"

"Yep."

"Are you sure the German won't freak out and try to slash it in half?"

"Then it's their loss."

"I just get the worst feeling they're going to blame us for this."

"Oh, they probably will."

"That's not reassuring."

"Since when have I been reassuring?"

"Good point. Fire!"

Mona fired the cannon, the ammo of which was the sack containing Propeller Knight's clothes and helmet.

"This is going to end so badly…" Plague Knight commented as he watched the projectile arc through the sky.

* * *

"IS THAT A SACK!?" Propeller Knight yelled in shock and fear.

Albrecht cringed. "I think it is, now quiet down, would you?"

"It's coming for us," Propeller Knight noted, suddenly calm.

"Yeah, give me a second."

Albrecht took to the sky, catching the bag midair. On his way down, he opened it up and discovered Propeller Knight's missing equipment.

He tossed the sack at his boss as he landed.

"My stuff!" Propeller Knight shouted. "I'm surprised they bothered to just give it back before I even got there."

"Maybe they caught wind that you were coming in only your underwear and some ridiculous makeup."

"I suppose I wouldn't be surprised."

"Can you just get dressed now?"

"What, do you not like my current attire?"

"It is ridiculous and degrading for a man of your stature."

"Hm, that is true."

* * *

Plague Knight sighed. "They're coming here anyway."

"Did you think they wouldn't?"

"Wasn't that the whole point of sending his gear flying?"

"Yeah, I suppose it was."

Propeller Knight and Albrecht flew through the hole in the wall and landed gracefully.

"I'm not sure whether to thank you or slap you for flinging my stuff through the air," Propeller Knight said in greeting.

"As long as you don't impale me," Plague Knight replied.

"Then I suppose I should just thank you and be done with it. Merci, my friend."

"De rien. Now please go. I'm tired."

"Very well then. Goodbye, my lovelies."

Propeller Knight took off, Albrecht following soon after.

"Did he just call us lovelies?" Mona asked.

"I think he did."

* * *

 **I hope this did something to brighten your day, dear lkcsi, if not at least get you to crack an amused grin in the vague direction of at least one of the surprisingly graceful comebacks I managed to write.**

 **Anyway, that's all, though. I'll be writing something new... eventually. I'm not wholly sure if I'm going to remain on the story I currently have titled 'Other World' because I'm not creative.**


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